A few years ago in college, a girl in my class told me, “I cannot see you happy without me.“
When she said those words, it was like a weight had been placed on my chest. On the one hand, it was a beautiful sentiment – an expression of deep love and devotion. On the other hand, it hinted at a level of possessiveness that made me uneasy.
Love is a complex emotion that can take many forms. At times it can be gentle and nurturing, and at other times it can be fierce and passionate. The love she expressed was undoubted of the latter kind. It was a love that demanded reciprocity, and she could not bear the thought of me being happy without her.
But is this a healthy kind of love? Is it fair to expect someone’s happiness to depend on our presence? Love should be about supporting the other person’s growth and happiness, even if it means they might grow apart from us.
It’s essential to recognize the difference between love and possession. Love is about acceptance and support, while possession is about control and domination. If her words were born out of a sense of possessiveness, then it’s important to question the relationship’s health.
In conclusion, those words she said have stayed with me. They remind me to examine the nature of my love and ensure that it’s based on acceptance, support, and growth. Love should be a source of joy, not a weight on our chests.
Going back to high school, there was someone in school I really liked, and just before our school year ended and right before we were heading off to college, I told myself, “I wanna be happy with her, but I’d rather see her happy without me than sad with me.” It was a moment of vulnerability for me. It reflected the depth of my feelings for her and my desire for her happiness above all else.
Love is about acceptance, support, and growth. It’s about wanting the best for the other person, even if it means letting them go. My words to her were a reminder of that; I wanted her to know that my love for her was not based on control or possession. It was about supporting her journey and her happiness, even if that meant we couldn’t be together.
It’s easy to get caught up in the idea of love as a possession, to feel like we need someone else to be happy. But true love is about being happy within ourselves and wanting to share that happiness with someone else. I reflected that – I wanted to be happy with her, but more than that, I wanted her to be happy however she saw fit. Love should be about supporting each other’s journey, not possessing each other. It’s a lesson I think we should remember as we navigate the complex landscape of love and relationships.
Here’s to all the hopeless romantics:
With you, my heart does churn, A love so pure, it makes my spirit return. To the beauty and joy that life can earn, With you, my love, I have nothing to discern. In your eyes, I find my reflection, A soulmate to share my life's direction. Together we'll create a love's inception, A bond that will withstand any rejection. In your absence, my heart skips a beat, Longing for your touch and your heartbeat. With you by my side, I feel complete, A love so true, it's impossible to defeat. To see you, I turn, To know you, I burn, Being with you, I learn, Forever with you, my heart shall yearn, In your absence, my soul shall yearn.