I managed to get back to the office 4/5 days this week. It hasn’t been fantastic, but it’s a recovery. The Nurse Practitioner at my workplace talked me through a lot to get my head straight, and I cannot thank her enough.

In other news, covid cost me an entire month’s paycheck. The health system in this country is abysmal. I didn’t even my wildest dream think that one doctor’s visit would cost me that much. My insurance did not cover that, so yeah. I only have myself to blame. It just angers me more, and the research and study medicine I will do, I plan to opensource all my findings for free. That’s the only way to dismantle this craziness. I’m still broke for cash in some ways, but it’s not like I will be homeless; I need to spend less for the next few weeks. Being secretly Bruce Wayne definitely could help right about now.

I read this quote today:

A man who’s already drenched in water, shouldn’t be scared of rains.

I was contemplating if I should start my med career and was afraid of how long it might take to complete and work with my engineering/research career. But that statement somehow made me say, “Screw it” go for it and see what happens.

When my biological father, a doctor himself, passed away from covid, I beat myself mentally that night because he always wanted me to become one, but I chose another path. And although everyone says I’m a terrific engineer/architect, I cannot help but think how many people I could have touched by becoming a doctor sooner in life. Some people genuinely need help out there, and here I am, living the most privileged life any person in his 20s can live in New York City. I hope everything works out because I don’t know what I will do if it doesn’t.

My bio father was not great, but he touched many lives in his lifetime, and people still talk about him. They still stop my mom on the road and discuss how he helped them in times of need. He was indeed a different human being, and I’ll always be proud of him; Not a great father but a good man. I wondered how he would have consoled me after my previous month’s setback. I’ve learned from him that he knew to pick people up when they were at their lowest. But I cannot explain; I knew he would be there mentally to back me up in everything I do. I can only hope to be a portion of the man he was.

Covid destroyed my VO2 max, and I’ve set an appointment for July 1st to get it checked again in a laboratory. I am trying my best to gain the weight I lost and build endurance, both at the same time while my body is still recovering.

I visited the new office location today – it is depressing. But on a brighter note, I can catch a ferry, and it drops me off right in front of my office building. Again – Privilege.