Here we are, the end of a nearer. The EMT final is set for august 2nd. I am not prepared for this, this is not me sandbagging but giving a self a reality check. I need a 60+ on the final to continue my skills exam. If not, I’m out of the course. It hasn’t been easy working full time, attending classes, online learning, tests/exams, reading, and working out to keep the body & the mind in a healthy place.

It has been a journey, but I don’t regret anything; yes, it was a good level of sacrifice – my summer, which had to be light, but we are here. Medicine has a lot of memorization, but there is no other way of going through it. I have tried to push the pace as best I could & the final could make or break it. Even though it hasn’t been a walk in the park with everything, I feel I could pull it off if luck is on my side. If not, I would feel a bit horrible for the time I invested over these few months; I honestly couldn’t care less about the money, which is a bit privileged thing to say from a societal point of view.

I’ve got to witness many people with so many different backgrounds get into this field to do good, a few really smart pre-med students (which I am low-key jealous off). Jealous might be a stretch, but now I understand why my peers in school/college were jealous of me being crazy in my field. I have started to grow a fondness for the field and tremendous respect for those who work in it, but also feel there are myriad critical issues that need to be fixed & addressed one day at a time.

So far, I’ve been courageous enough to suck at something new. Someone who has run away from biology for most of his life but still came this far out of his comfort zone kinda seems like a self-testament on how far I am willing to go to qualify as an ASCAN. There are still a good number of years left, so I’m not worried yet.

Ambition was never cheap. There is hard work in everything & if I could somehow manage to find the kick for medicine like I have for engineering, things would slide like butter. I’ve also made good acquaintances with a few classmates who have helped me above & beyond as I did back in school. What goes around, comes around, huh?

Godspeed. One day at a time.