This question was asked to me today, and I was called the “G” word, which I always hate. How can I tell the person that there are days when I do manage to do the stupidest thing possibly imaginable?

So the full trail marathon did not go as planned as I was sick with a sore throat and slight fever; I’m still healing from my head injury. The thanksgiving dinners were well. I gave the gifts I had been waiting for like two months; they weren’t much, but I wanted to give something thoughtful.

I bought a new rower because my old one broke down (literally). We have an all-hands going on this week, so I’ve averaged almost 4 hours every day of sleep because of n different things.

I’ve applied to one paramedic school. The one that is just two blocks above the office, it is under CUNY. I had a very frustrating experience with the application process, and they’re expecting me to give my high school transcripts and give an English proficiency exam. Mind you; I’ve already submitted my undergrad and grad transcripts. This is stupidity at its finest. If everything goes well, the semester will start in the Fall of 2023. I’m mentally prepared to go back to school. Again, a lot of things have to go as planned for that.

I have to get up at 5 am tomorrow for a run; then I have a 15k race again on Saturday morning in central park and dinner plans in the evening. I’m taking off from Dec 22 to Feb 1 from work. Unlimited PTO FTW.

I lost my blue beanie yesterday. I’m so sad and horrible about it as I have used it for 6+ years. It had a lot of sentimental value attached.

When I share my Life Mortality rate with everything I do, people forget that many risks their lives for more significant causes. I am well aware of the risks and fully accept them as a consequence. I have no regrets whatsoever.

I’ve been called aggressive, reckless, a risk-taker, too ambitious, driven, etc. Everyone forgets that you also need tremendous discipline and passion to come from the back of the field and fight for the front positions in a race. People tend to overlook these qualities in me. I just wanted to put it out there.

Fitting in with the crowd is overrated anyways. I always wanted more from life, to do more, be more. People almost every week ask me, “You still single?” “Why aren’t you married?” “Don’t your parents ask you?”. In the back of my mind, I like to think, “You folks are not even trying to help the existing stereotypes.

Things have not gone the way I’ve wanted them to, they usually do, and that’s okay with me. I’ve never been shy to face adversity, both physically and mentally, even in my worst of conditions. I remember the third time I was hospitalized; I genuinely thought, “This is it.” But in those moments, I promised myself that I would make something from my life and do good for others if I got out. To be honest, I didn’t think I would get this far as I am today, but I am here, and I want to go ahead. The odds are slim, but I don’t want to give up.

Every day I shape myself to be someone I would love to meet. There will come a time when it is my turn to teach the next generation. What will I teach them? To reshape and rebuild, or to quit?

They told me I couldn’t. That’s why I’m trying. What we get by achieving our goals is not as important as what we become by achieving our goals. To get where we want to be, we must remember that excellence is a journey. Discipline is the vehicle. At the end of the day, it comes down to one simple thing: how badly do you want it? There are days when we may have to fight a battle more than once to win it. Success is no accident. It is hard work, perseverance, learning, studying, sacrifice, and most of all, love of what you are doing or learning to do. I like to think that the difficulties I face make my life story an interesting one to tell. Perseverance is the hard work you do after you get tired of doing the hard work you already did.

One day I will tell my story of how I overcame what I went through, and it will be someone else’s survival guide.